4 Tips to Help Your Child or Teen With OCD
1. Understand OCD and Its Different OCD Themes
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) significantly affects many kids and teens. This blog post offers four key tips to help parents support their children dealing with OCD.
What is OCD?
OCD consists of two main components:
Obsessions: Unwanted, upsetting worries, thoughts or images
Compulsions: Actions that the child or teen feels they need to do to neutralize or make obsessions "go away". Avoidance is a common compulsion that gets missed!
What are Some Common OCD Themes and What Do They Look Like?
Here are some common ways that OCD can show up for kids and teens:
Contamination fears
- Excessive hand washing or showering
- Avoiding touching certain objects or surfaces
- Fear of getting sick from germs or contamination
Symmetry and ordering
- Need for items to be arranged in a specific way
- Repeating actions until they feel "just right"
- Distress if things are not in perfect order
Harm-related obsessions
- Intrusive thoughts about harming oneself or others
- Checking behaviors (e.g., locks, appliances) to prevent harm
- Fear of accidentally causing harm or damage
Religious or moral obsessions (scrupulosity)
- Excessive concern with right and wrong
- Repetitive praying or confessing
- Fear of offending God or being morally impure
Sexual obsessions
- Unwanted sexual thoughts or images
- Anxiety about sexual orientation or identity
- Avoidance of situations that trigger these thoughts
Relationship-centered obsessions
- Constant doubt about feelings for others
- Seeking repeated reassurance in relationships
- Fear of not loving someone enough
Health-related obsessions
- Excessive worry about having a serious illness
- Frequent body checking for signs of illness
- Anxiety about certain foods or activities affecting health
Perfectionism
- Excessive concern with making mistakes
- Redoing tasks multiple times to get them "perfect"
- Difficulty completing tasks due to high standards
Hoarding
- Difficulty discarding items, even if they have no apparent value
- Excessive acquisition of items
- Distress when others try to discard or organize their possessions
"Just right" obsessions
- Need for things to feel, look, or sound "just right"
- Repeating actions until they feel correct
- Distress when things don't feel "right"
Magical thinking
- Believing that certain thoughts or actions can influence unrelated events
- Engaging in rituals to prevent perceived harm
- Assigning special meanings to numbers or colors
Intrusive thoughts
- Disturbing thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere
- Difficulty dismissing unwanted thoughts
- Engaging in mental rituals to neutralize the thoughts
2. Help Your Child or Teen Recognize OCD and Name It
Engage your child in being an "OCD detective":
* Encourage them to notice when they're having intrusive thoughts or urges to perform compulsions.
* Create a log where they can write down when and where OCD tends to show up and what OCD “tells them to do”.
* If your child is younger, you can say something like, "Let's play detective and figure out when OCD likes to bother you most. Is it before bedtime? At school? When you're stressed? What does it tell you to do?"
Encourage your child or teen to give OCD a name:
* Giving OCD a name can help your child or teen separate it from their identity.
* Let your child or teen choose a name that feels right to them.
* Some examples for kids might be:
- "Brain Bully"
- "Worry Monster"
* A teen might want to use:
- "The Doubt Dude"
- "Annoying OCD"
* Use the name when talking about OCD: "Is that you talking, or is that your Brain Bully trying to trick you?"
Work together to notice when OCD appears:
* Help your child identify OCD's "voice" or typical thoughts.
* Practice spotting OCD behaviors together.
* Here are some things you could say to notice OCD together:
- "When you feel like you need to wash your hands for the third time, that might be Annoying OCD talking, what do you think?"
- "If you're worried about something bad happening because you didn't organize your toys perfectly, I wonder if that’s the Worry Monster at work."
3. Have Your Child or Teen Work At Delaying Compulsions
Help your child put small time delays between urges and actions:
* Start with short delays (30 seconds to 1 minute) and gradually increase.
* Use a timer to make the delay concrete.
* Remind them that delaying compulsions can reduce anxiety over time. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but will get easier.
4. Reduce Reassurance and Ritual Participation
Gradually decrease your involvement in your child's OCD rituals
* Here is an example of how you could reduce involvement for a child seeking homework reassurance:
Name the OCD: "I wonder if the Brain Bully is wanting you to ask me if you did your homework right?"
Encourage delay: "Let's wait 5 minutes before discussing it." Set a timer for 5 minutes.
After 5 minutes, ask if OCD is still bugging them?
Praise effort: "Great job delaying! You're getting stronger than OCD!"
When to Seek Professional Help
Consider professional help if:
- OCD significantly impacts your child's daily life and/or if
- Home strategies aren't providing enough relief
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is the Gold Standard Treatment for OCD
ERP is:
- A type of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
- Proven effective for treating OCD
- Involves gradual exposure to obsessions while preventing compulsions
Last Thoughts
Supporting a child with OCD requires patience, understanding, and consistent effort. Remember:
- Education about OCD is crucial
- Small steps can lead to significant improvements
- Professional help is available when needed
If you’d like to set up a free 15 minute consultation with me about your child or teen who may have OCD, please contact me here.