PANDAS/PANS Parents: 5 Ways to Protect Your Emotional Health During the Holidays

PANDAS/PANS Parents: 5 Ways to Protect Your Emotional Health During the Holidays

The holidays are often described as the most wonderful time of the year—but for many parents supporting a child with PANDAS or PANS, this season can bring more stress than joy. Between unpredictable flare-ups, emotional ups and downs, and the pressure to keep traditions alive, it can feel like your nervous system is on overdrive.

While others are baking cookies and planning parties, you may be quietly managing medical appointments, emotional outbursts, or sheer exhaustion—wondering if things will ever feel “normal” again. If this sounds familiar, please know: you’re not alone. There are ways to support your emotional well-being and move through the holidays with more steadiness and compassion for yourself.

Here are five emotional health tips to help you cope with holiday stress while supporting your child and your family.

1. Set Realistic Expectations

Strive for acceptance that your holidays are going to look different right now. Don’t attempt to recreate the picture-perfect holidays you see on social media—or even what your family used to do before PANDAS/PANS changed everything.

Try to release the pressure to do too much and focus instead on what’s manageable and meaningful. Maybe that means skipping an event, simplifying meals, or choosing one small tradition that brings comfort instead of chaos. When you set realistic expectations, you room for relaxation and peace.

2. Prioritize Self-Care (Even When It Feels Impossible)

Caring for a child with PANDAS/PANS often means your own needs come last—but your emotional health matters just as much as your child’s. During the holidays, see if you can give yourself mini-breaks.

Small moments count: a cup of coffee before everyone wakes, a short walk outside, deep breathing in the car, or listening to a favorite song while you clean up. These mini breaks help calm your nervous system and bring you back into the present moment.

You need care, too—and giving that to yourself helps you show up with more calm and resilience for your child.

3. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Family gatherings and social events can be complicated, especially when others don’t understand PANDAS/PANS. You might face well-meaning but painful comments, unrealistic expectations, or advice that truly misses the mark.

It’s okay to say no—to decline invitations, excuse yourself from tense conversations, or leave early if things feel too overwhelming. You might use phrases like, “We’re keeping things low-key this year,” or “Thanks for understanding—we need to do what works best for our family right now.”

Even if others don’t understand your boundaries, it’s important to give yourself and your child the emotional protection you deserve.

4. Stay Connected (in Ways That Work for You)

Holidays can feel lonely as a PANDAS/PANS parent. While some people will not fully understand your situation, try to connect with one or two people who do understand. Reach out to other PANDAS/PANS parents, a trusted friend, or your therapist.

At the same time, it’s okay to limit your time with people who drain your energy or dismiss your experience. Healthy connection should feel supportive, not depleting. Sometimes a short text check-in or a moment of shared humor can make the difference between feeling alone and feeling supported.

5. Seek Professional Support When Needed

If the emotional load feels too heavy, it’s important to know that you can ask for help. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your fears, grief, and fatigue—and help you rebuild a sense of stability in your nervous system.

A therapist familiar with PANDAS/PANS can help you learn new ways to cope with uncertainty, manage stress and anxiety, and find your footing again when things feel out of control. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Protect Your Emotional Health This Holiday Season

If you’re ready to feel more grounded and supported through the holidays, schedule a consultation today to explore how therapy can help you cope with holiday stress that accompanies PANDAS/PANS, strengthen your emotional health, and find a steadier rhythm for your family.

As a PANDAS/PANS parent, you spend so much time caring for their child—remember to give yourself the same care.